We’re at a family reunion and some dude asked my dad when I was getting married and with a totally straight face my dad was like “we’re just going to give her to whichever young man can provide us with the largest flock of goats”
"I would never sass you, Grandma!"
i was told….
Don’t let the media warp your perception of beauty. Beauty is pizza.
THIS IS THE FUCKING PHONE THAT I LOST IN DECEMBER.
AFTER THE SNOW MELTED, I FOUND IT THIS MORNING FROZEN IN THE ICE.
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET OUT THERE.
but does it work